Phoenix (D1)

I guess I'l start cataloging my series of bizarre dreams every now and then. Who knows, they might be more than just dreams. Perhaps subtle hints from an extradimensional realm? Or could they only be figments of my overactive imagination?

Either way, I'l just write down what traspired in my head last night.

The sky was pitch black and I'm in my room, the door leading into my room ajar, and Yun Leng was playing with a stick outside (or rather a firecracker thingie that spurts sparks, whatever it's called). My room was like the focal point of a celebration, everyone was really excited about something.

Then there was a series of loud explosions - fireworks. I peered out from my room, into the dark deary skies above when I saw It. A large red fireball that streaked steadily upwards then as suddenly as it started, it turned tail and descended, a fiery jet of flame heading towards the ground.

Strangely, as it streaks closer and closer towards the ground, I have a feeling that it's not a fireball, but a giant phoenix. Apparently noone paid any attention to the fireball, so I nudged Becky, who was in front of me, urging her to look. Funny thing is, Mr Lucas was there too.

As the three of us looked, the phoenix started soaring towards us, and at that moment, I had a sudden feeling of nolstalgia. This scene reminds me of a scene from The Lord of the Rings's part I, when the illusionary dragon soared towards the crowd of Hobbits during Bilbo's birthday. It looked just like that, except for one thing, the aftermath.

The phoenix slammed headfirst at us, followed by the most deafening bang I've ever heard in my life. People were yelling, screaming and groaning. There was only chaos and as I opened my eyes, flames were everywhere. There was a constant ringing in my ears and I felt numb, no pain, nothing. I thought I was dead.

Then I woke up. Just in time for Physics Paper 5. O.O Yikes.

Alpha.

Here I am, at the rudimentary stages of life. 20 in 4 months or so. A fifth of my life gone, and I am no closer to the answer I seek than I was 20 years ago. I kept asking myself, why pursue the great unknown when I can sit back, get a medical degree and live a life of ignorance? To relish the life of one with financial security and be respected by a narrow circle of organic matter.

Helping others, consoling the sick and tending to the wounded, aren't they all just mere manifestations of humanity? Acts that pull us together as one, acts that are essential to the continuation of humankind. Despite the fact that selflessness is a virtue, I don't see the necessity for me to mingle with the commons. Call me selfish, call me whatever names you want to but I stand unwavered by my choice to pursue the Truth, the Answer or whatever I'm seeking. It gives me purpose, a sense of direction.

Speaking of which. What am I looking for? After reading the book by Stephan Hawking and taking an interest in Physics and the String Theory, I am fascinated by the idea that this plane of existance we live in may have more than 4 dimensions. It sounds plausible too. We can only hear, feel, taste and see how matter interact with space in terms of widths, breadths, heights and time.

The Universe we live in is astounding. One day, when I'm well equipped with the knowledge I require, I'l harness it's most remote secrets and bring them to light. There must be a bigger picture of what the Universe is. Something grander, something infinitely preplexing and unbelievable. Something mere humans can't even begin to speculate.

For now, I'm stuck in a precarious balancing act between my studies and the cyber world. Hopefully- no wait. I must and will prevail. 2010 here I come!